Monday, September 21, 2009

How to Catch a Mouse....

  1. DO NOT rely on your two cats and one dog to do the dirty work for you.

  2. KNOW that you will discover said mouse when you are alone in the house.

  3. BE PREPARED to walk away (run) from mouse and go outside to pick crab apples off the ground for 45 minutes.

  4. REALIZE there are many urgent matters that you need to attend to outside the house.
  5. TALK on the phone with your sister for 4.5 hours at your mother's house.
  6. TIME your return home with Mike's 11:00pm arrival. (Back from Ontario.)

Seriously, there is nothing that shoots my heart rate up faster than the sight of a scurrying mouse in my house -- it is disgusting. As usual, the first indicator was Peanut staring INTENTLY in the corner of the living room. Straight away, I knew there was a mouse -- she had that *mouse look* on her face. I peered behind the chair and SAW IT WRIGGLING underneath my purse!!

AAAARRRGGGHH!! I could see its long tail wiggling, and I just about heaved. Then I got mad at Peanut and Mandalay -- "You guys are terrible cats! Get that mouse! Kill it!" Then, I vacated the house for the next 6 hours. Hahahaha!! I like to deal with things head on, eh? LOL!!

It wasn't until the next afternoon, Mike and I *got* the mouse. Mike pulled out the stove and I was ready with Peanut, and some gloves on to get the mouse. The glove thing was a total joke -- like I would grab the mouse!! There is no way I would touch it! LOL!! Really though -- the times we have had to deal with a mouse, we have no plan -- our plan sort of evolves organically. (Hahahahah!! I HATE when artists say that, "Oh yes, the song just evolved organically.)

Usually, a mouse comes shooting out of nowhere and Mike jumps, I jump and flutter my hands like I'm waving them dry and say, "Oooh! Oooh!" And then both of us say, "Peanut get the mouse!" One of us picks up The Nut and will throw her in the direction of the mouse. Hahahaha!!

The last mouse incident ended when the mouse hopped into the cold air return thing -- one of those things that was left behind when our renovations ceased -- same as the light switch cover in the kitchen that I finally put duct tape around to seal off the cold air blowing in, but I digress -- I picked up Peanut and set her down in front of the hole in the carpet/wall, and watched as she leapt into it. Since Day 1, Peanut has enjoyed herself entering these tin tunnels and roaming the innards of the house.

It was odd the first time I saw Peanut actually go down into the vent...To hear your cat somewhere in the bowels of your house plodding -- every once in a while a "pong" would sound from her step on the metal. It was very odd the first time I saw her enter the vent in our bedroom and exit the vent in the dining room...What can I say?

(And no, there is no remote chance of her falling into the furnace -- the way the pipes are rigged, it is impossible, so don't get all riled up. Heh-heh-heh.)

Anyways, as is the case when we pull out the stove, the only thing we could find were all the missing play mice and dust balls (and a wayward tupperware lid -- That's where it went!). It was later in the day when I spied the mouse scurrying in the back hall by the dog food bowl.

That was it - Mike sprang into action!

He was on all fours and using anything on hand to try and get the mouse. He was shouting all kinds of instructions to me -- "Get me a piece of cardboard! I need something bigger!! JULIE!!!" All I could do was hop from one foot to the other and shake my hands and kept repeating, "I don't know! I don't know!!" Hahahahahahaha!

We are sophisticated human beings however, and Mike (the uber intuitive one) grabbed the swinging garbage can lid and *caught* the mouse. Now the trick was to somehow slide the lid with the mouse under it out the door...An impossible feat since the floor is not flat -- the back French doors have this lip thing. We quickly decided on a plan...

One of us would slowly lift the lid and get the mouse to run into the garbage can (big white plastic thing). At first, I fought for this job -- but quickly realized it required more skill (and courage) than I had. You see, the trick is to wedge something (solid) underneath the lid while simultaneously lifting a corner of the lid to urge the mouse in one direction. I watched as Mike did a test run...

We both exclaimed, "Oh!" when we saw one little paw sneak out. The lid came quickly back down. OK -- Game on!

I sat hunkered down holding the garbage can on its side. Mike started to work his magic on the lid. Man, this guy is GOOD!! He managed to somehow get the mouse and lid into the garbage can. He shouted, "Go, go, go!!!! It's in there!!! It's in there!!!!" I tilted the garbnage can upright and SPRINTED out the back door and threw the mouse out onto the grass.

There was a split second in all of this, when time momentarily stood still...For whatever reason, this image will be forever with me: It was like it was happening in slow motion -- as I tilted the garbage can to throw the mouse onto the grass, the sunlight lit up the plastic can and I could see the silhouette of the mouse flailing -- it's little legs circling through the air as it began to tumble.

The mouse softly landed in the grass (softly, because I have only mowed 3 times this year), took a few moments to regroup, and then slowly scampered away.

Ahhhhhh. :) :)

Onto training news...first day back was AWESOME!!! Swimming was great -- I wasn't too fatigued by the end; mind you my defintion of "fatigue" was severely challenged this year, so if I can walk (not crawl) to the showers at the end of a workout, this means I am not that fatigued. Hahahahaha!

Also had my first weight session of the year at my local club -- I call this workout the Workout for Weenies. Namely, I'm the weenie. 30 minutes later and I felt worse than when I crossed the finish line at Ironman. Nothing like trying something new to show you just how out of shape you really are! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

ONWARD HO!!!!!!!!


Keith said...

I can just see the scene, and I'm killing myself laughing.

All that for one mouse! Do like Susi does, leave a wine bottle. If she wasn't reading this I'd tell you how I dealt with mice in the garage. Or, you could feed your cats a bit less. A hungry cat is a good mouser. Trust me.

We had the cold air returns open for a while, and one of our cats wandered around in there for a while. That stopped when she walked on the flap used by the duct cleaners, and fell out of the duct onto the floor below.

Kelly B. said...

I have only one mouse story...on the farm we were sitting at the kitchen table for lunch one day and a mouse popped his head out of the burner on the stove!!! He just looked at us like wtf and how did I get here??!! And our farm cat used to kill mice at night and bring them to the front door every single morning....

Amber Dawn said...

bahahahahaha! I love that you throw your cat at the mouse and she still doesn't catch it! :)

Melissa said...

Ha ha ha! Very funny. I'm impressed you actually catch the mouse and release it know it's going to come back, right? ;-)

My female cat does the starting thing too, that's how we can tell the mice are back. Isn't it cool to watch the natural hunting instinct come out in them? Now if you could just get them to catch the mice you'll be all set!

Charlie Browne said...

I am not sure what to little mouse should not cause such a stir!!!....oh right forgot who I was talking to.....yep love you to Jules! LMAO

Jenna said...

My mother had a cuboard that had a lazy susan in it. One day a bottle of corn syrup fell over and spilled beaneath the shelves. It sat there.... luring a mouse to come and have a nibble. The one that went in to have a nibble was found several years later (I am sure It was years later and I recall a time we ripped that kitchen apart looking for what smelled so bad - rottin gmouse meat anyone?) Anyway, when the mouse was discovered, he was face flat and sprawled out in the hard puddle of corn syrup. He was fur and bones. Poor mouse. Funny frickin story! We had two cats too!!

Keith said...

Hi Julie, this is Linda - love the mouse story. Like Kelly B.'s old farm cat, our previous cats Sebastien & Nefertiti would have slaughtered any mouse they came across (Sebastien used to lay them nose to tail in neat little rows on our doorstep for us to find - he was very good about feeding 'his' humans:)). Nefertiti didn't have the out of doors to roam in - we kept her on a leash whenever she was outside - but she still could catch things (birds, usually). They'd taunt her by flying too low overhead & she'd leap up 5-6 feet (really) or more in the air & had these opposable thumbs on her paws, so they'd be caught. Figured cat evolution was set back by our having her fixed (spca cat, had to be done as condition of adoption). Amelia, our current cat, has no killing experience with anything other than bugs (flies, mostly). However, I've no doubt she'd do her furry best if the opportunity arose!

Missy said...

All these pictures of meeses are giving me the creepies. This is not a problem we have, thankfully. Between that and snakes, not sure what's worse. Cute in the picture but NOT in my house.

Runner Leana said...

I really don't know what I'd do if there was a mouse in my place. I'd probably be wishing I had some big burly boyfriend to take care of it. My dog Finlay would probably chase it around but I doubt he'd be of much use!